My name is Jac, I am in my early 30s, and have four daughters as well as one adopted daughter. I have been through a lot of persecution and conviction in my life. I have been shunned by the church, had a gun to my head for being gay, and told I was going to hell continually for most of my youth. I was not raised in Church growing up, but we did go from time to time. I did not even know what gay was until I was 17 years old, I’m from a small town and it really just was never spoken of for me to learn what I was classified as if you want to put a label on it. I liked girls from as early of an age as I can remember, I tried to date guys when I was younger, but it just didn’t feel right.
As I grew into a teenager, I discovered what I was, I finally felt like I didn’t need to be closed off from the world, but little did I know what was about to come at me full force. The lies and hate that got thrust upon me where almost unbearable and I had no one to talk to about what I felt or was going through, and my family did not understand nor agree with me, but they were still present in my life. I felt hopeless and set out on a journey to see how quickly I could kill myself seeing as I was bound for hell, I found no purpose in my life. This was the darkest time of my life thus far and Lord willing it will be the darkest time of my life. I went down a bad road with drugs seeing as I was told when I was a kid that if I ever tried them, it would likely kill me. Well that didn’t work.
I always felt that God was with me even through the darkest of my moments, and for some reason the times I should have died, I didn’t and something miraculous happened to keep that from occurring. I finally got to a point in my life where I said God if you are real then show me, teach me about you, and get me from my face to my feet. He did just that, but I had many battles from within me and all around me that would come at me as I was learning. I began to dig deep into His word, started going to church, and got involved and led different ministries with the church. At this point, I had decided to be celibate because I was trying to determine if I really was bound for hell by being gay. I had a purpose now, and a goal to help me be okay just being me. This would develop into helping other people and kids to realize they too were made the way God made them.
In searching for an answer to my biggest battle in life, I found more than what I had originally planned and I am still researching. I have asked God to show me Him and His Truth, and He is doing just that. So, I am starting this blog, because I wanted to be able to share my findings and helpful information with others. I hope that you will find the information on this page helpful, and that you will be able to learn and grow in your Faith and relationship with God the Father, The Holy Spirit, and Jesus Christ.
I have struggled for many years going to church, listening to the lessons learned, some good and some confusing or seeming contradicting or with gaps in them. I have upset the church with my questions. I know that these things happened but why and how? God tells us to seek Him continually and I have grown to realize that does not mean go to church on Saturday or Sunday and listen to a preacher, that means you need to seek Him for yourself. If we do not seek Him for ourselves, we are not putting our faith alone in Him, but in man. I think fellowship with other believers is great, and in my experience there are some that have just loved me but I have also been shunned, which can make things hard but you push on.
It’s time to change that the church goer but not the seeker of God’s Truth in people. I encourage each of you that reads these posts to go behind me and research it for yourselves.
Continually Seek The Truth.
2 Peter 1:18-21
18 And this voice which came from heaven we heard, when we were with him in the holy mount.
19 We have also a more sure word of prophecy; whereunto ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a light that shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day star arise in your hearts:
20 Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation.
21 For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost.