All posts by Jac

Child of the Creator

My soul is not lost

What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? Matthew 16:26

My response to this text: 

I’ve not lost my soul, for that has always been the creators. What I’ve lost or given up freely rather is the human idea that the Creator fits in a box or a book written 2500 years ago, had books removed from it, been translated and rewritten meant times, had words changed in it, has many different versions, and the one based in America doesn’t match even the dead Sea scrolls. From that I’ve gained peace and calm in myself and learned to live myself and just be who I am.

That’s why we have each other

I posted this on one of my pages: 

Since I was young, I’ve always known this: Life damages us, every one. We can’t escape that damage. But now, I am also learning this: We can be mended. We mend each other. – (Four) Veronica Roth

I got a response from a Christan acquaintance, stating:

Maybe, if we follow our Lord…anything else is more damage…everyone has an agenda.

My response to this, was as follows:

We can follow God all we want, but it’s up to us to take action and lean on others when we need human connection and support. That’s why we have each other. 

We have free will, which in turn means that God will not step in and fix all that ails us. That’s why we have each other. Not everyone has an agenda to hurt us, there are many that will stand by us and help as our brokenness mends. Some allow religion and shallow beliefs to get in the way of helping others. They value religion or how they think everyone should live over the well being of their neighbor.

For example I know a lot of Christians at least back home, because of fear tactics that are all for the ban of refugees. That’s putting religion above human life. I try to point out to them the fact that in America the majority of attacks have been by Christan extremists or whitest supremacists than any Muslims. That has been on the rise since someone lit a fire of hate against minorities a couple of years ago. Not to mention, the very Christ they worship was Middle Eastern and he was all about helping those in need and loving your neighbor. 

I know I have not healed alone by religion, it was me trying to depend on religion to heal me that messed me up so bad in the first place. We may think we are healing, but the longer we leave the emotional damage in our lives, and do not take action to heal, the more it will affect our overall well being and our relationships with others. The support I’ve had since I allowed support of others in my life, has helped me get to a place of mending.
In the words of Ernest Hemingway, “we are all broken, that’s how the light gets in.” 

Value of Christ’s words

How do people say they worship Christ, then give more value to the words around his and keep his at a distance so they can find a way to reject and cut out part of humanity that doesn’t fit your beliefs?  
I’ve found that when others are seeking to correct me in my sinful ways as “they” see it, they never use the words of Christ, but some other scripture, usually Romans or Leviticus. The words of Christ always come at first before you join up with them, all are welcome and then later after you “fix” yourself. 
Now that I’m outside religion, I have started thinking about how I was before and how people have been with me. I’ve received many variations of rebuke, rejection, shunning, hate and love in some form from different Christians. I can’t vouch for any other religion because no one from another religion has tried to get me to see just how broken, sinful, and vile I supposedly am.
There are some Christians out there who just want to follow what Christ taught a love their neighbor, I have been writing back and forth with one who used to teach me in church. He seems to have had his eyes opened to the dark and light side of the Christian religion. He has chosen to love others as he is loved. It’s been great writing back and forth with him. Today he wrote me and said, “It seems like the 58% never see their true value,” he was speak in regards to our creator. I was telling him about transgender people and the suicide rate being at 58% right now. It seems like we give more value to how our families and society view us then how the creator does. I think this is true. There are many who are agnostic or atheist and believe we just are, so they would have no one to look to but their families whom we are taught are supposed to love and care for us unconditionally. I see humanities need for a belief in a higher power, because we fail ourselves by casting so much hate towards anyone who is different than our norm or society’s norm. So much so that parents are willing to abandon their children because they are not subject A (cisgender straight female) or subject B (cisgender straight male) which fits only a portion of all of the people on this planet. It seems that many people are not “straight” and that they have some tendencies towards another type of sexuality or gender. Many people suppress this because of societal pressures or religious pressures. Some people can live with this just fin, other are suppressing a major part of who they are and it can cause depression, suicide, or even hate towards other that feel the same way, because they feel like they can’t or that they must hide that part of them. 

Religion and chaos USA

It doesn’t matter how you or I were raised or how many good Christians we know. That doesn’t give an excuse for what is going on now in our country and with our government and what some of the major sects of Christianity have done. If we want to take it there, we can also take it back to the crusades or when the Christians came over with their Bible’s and massacred the Native Americans. Sure there are many Christians that truly want to do good in the world I know several, but even some of those back what is going on in our government right now. 
Religion will always bring something extra with it trying to rule and control the people. History has shown us that. I’ve found that spirituality and faith away from religion brings more peace, at least to me and several others I know. It’s individuality and still connecting with our Creator because we can’t all have the exact same relationship as others because we are all different. Our faith should not relying on how this guy interprets these verses or those, nor should we have to fight to be accepted, not tolerated, accepted into anything we want to willingly be a part of.
Religion will continue to cause wars and unrest in this world because many allow it to dominate their faith, instead of just connecting with the Creator individually and loving each other and doing good on our own. As for those that do good and can feel a belonging in the Christan faith I hope they continue to do so, maybe they will have an affect on others. 
Something I have been thinking about and blogged about today is, “How could I have ever been so eager to be a part of a religion that rejected me and condemned me at birth?” I struggled severely, the whole time I tried. 
Our government is not showing any concern for its people. Caring for a secure nation and ripping apart families are two different things. Many of the people they are removing have been vetted and been Americans for years. If caring for a secure country means holding people (children too) in airports in cuffs, separating children from their parents, and ripping apart families, that’s a new way of going about it and I will not get behind that. 
Law is great when it is fair, but our laws are not equal for blacks and whites, nor are they equal for the LGBTQ community. 
I’m not claiming conservative or liberal, I just want what’s right for all people.

Free Will

Yesterday, I had a talk with a guy at work and he of course diverted our conversation in a different direction after he said god is in control and put trump in office. I think there is something being overlooked by Christians and something I used to overlook, Free will. Humanity is responsible for Hitler, humanity is responsible for the bad that happens in this world, and our jacked up system in America and Humanity are responsible for putting trump in office. 
The Jews tried to warn us, history is there for a reason, so we don’t allow the bad times to repeat. America the majority of you and I will now have to pay for what the minority has failed to see and chosen for us, but they will end up paying too, they are just oblivious to it at the moment. What this man has done in just ten days is huge and it’s not good. I can’t imagine how many lives are at stake right now or how jacked up our economy will be soon. I know a lot of Christians don’t care about the Muslims, and at that point you no longer represent the Christ I was taught about growing up. 
Yes, god is in control. God is sustaining life and our world, but humanity is doing its best to destroy both. We are each responsible for our own actions. 
I saw a lady post yesterday that she is finally glad to have peace, and I was trying to figure out how she has peace in a time like this. Then I realized she’s white and white privilege is being severally over looked right now and seems it has been for a long time. 

Reflection of 30+ Years of Life

A REFLECTION OF ME TODAY—–As 2016 comes to a close I feel I should reflect on the things I’ve learned through my research and my experiences in my life. I’ve learned a lot about myself recently and much of what has been revealed to me as I’ve reflected on myself, is that I have more strength and courage in me than I ever thought I did.
I grew up in a very small town with so many conservative and ignorant people. Sadly, I have carried ignorance with me through much of my life, so much so that at one point I thought I was sick because of how I was born and I was making the world a more vile place for humanity. I thought that all Muslims were out to get me. I thought that Christianity was the only way and there was no other way to go about life. One thing I realized is that when you are ignorant, you have no idea that you are ignorant, it takes seeking to learn on your own accord to determine truth and find your way out. It is not always an easy thing to evade ignorance, and from what I’ve learned, some of it is a mentally painful struggle to break away from falsehoods that you were taught for so long as truths. I have been oppressed and shamed for most of my life, until I got away from my home town. I couldn’t see past what I was taught growing up and told as I developed in to a young adult. After getting shunned by the church and almost completely losing my faith and myself, I found a way to rise. I decided that it was time that I either prove them right and I should likely end my life or do all I could to live the way they told me I should, or I would prove them wrong and be free of all the chaos that was within and around me. When I set out, because I trusted so many of my elders, I set out to prove them right and confirm my fears. I just knew I was going to have to find a way to be “normal,” fit into the Christian box and make my family proud.
After about three years of research, I determined that they were very wrong about me and that I was born how I was born for a reason, though I was not sure what that reason was. I continued on my journey, listening to my Creator and researching the history of Christianity, digging for answers that the church not once could answer for me. I asked too many questions and that was frowned upon more so than not. I was always told read the Bible and see what it says. There in I found a huge problem with Christianity, they never once talked about the history of Christianity, always just believed the Bible was a book without error penned by man but written by God. In my research after a few years, I found out how much the Bible has been written and rewritten to fit ideologies of different leaders (one of which was a gay king) and scholars. I found out that there had been many books removed from the Bible and I found out that the history of Christianity was not such a nice one. With the way things are looking today, it is proving once again to be not such a nice religion. They (some not all) will back the people that stand with them, but damn to hell in their self-righteous view point, anyone who does not fit inside the box they so faithfully believe that people should. They get angry and become hateful when people are for something they believe to be wrong and their dark hearts are revealed in the mist of their anger. In saying that, I know and believe that with any religion unless it is solely based on hate, has good people that follow and believe in it. I know good Christians, Buddhists, and Muslims, so religion doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, it just depends on how you use it, and how you treat others because of it.
I am still doing research, just not as much as I did before. I pretty much threw myself almost completely into my research for about 8 years, because I wanted to know the answers to the questions I had and if I would survive this place or the next. My research has gotten broader, I don’t just research Christianity, but religion in general and how it has evolved. I’d like to research other religions to learn more about them at some point, but only in an act of curiosity for knowledge on the things of this world. I have pretty much deemed religion as beguilement of the Creators people, for a couple of reasons. One, my research has lead me to understand that there are far too many contradictions in Christianity to be able to stand on that as a solid base for a faith. Two, because while driving to work one day sitting in silence, I heard that statement that, “religion is the beguilement of the Creators people,” and that statement freed me. The basics of most all religions that I have touched base on is that they are a control mechanism created by man, not a god or gods. I believe that our relationship with our Creator is all that was ever meant to be, not all the religious rituals and standards, but simply loving each other and our Creator and appreciating our home Mother Earth.
My faith has been shaken to its core, but never faltered. I do believe that we were created, we are far too complex and this world is far too complex for this to have all happened after an explosion. That makes no logical sense to me at all. I do believe in the core values of right and wrong that we should love our neighbor as ourselves and love our Creator. In that one statement all right and wrong can be settled. We are not to cause harm to each other or our home that has been provided for us, yet we do both daily as the human race. I am now Spiritual if I am to claim a faith or belief. My understanding of this world, humanity, and religion are very different than what it was when I was growing up. I no longer believe all Muslims are out to get me, as I have become friends with Muslim people and now understand the peace of their religion, and though I do not agree with religion in general, it is their right to follow it as they see fit so long as they do not harm other people by doing so, which goes for any religion. If you fit inside the religious box and it makes your life more full filling, by all means, enjoy your faith. I think my beliefs are more along the lines of the Native Americans in certain ways, things need to go back to their ways and we need to take care of Mother Earth, for if she is sick and in turmoil, so shall we be. I still pray every day, to my Creator, I pray for my friends and my family that they might find their way in this life, and that love and not hate will flourish in my homeland and the world.
Humanity needs to learn some very important lesson and they need to be learned swiftly or we will not have a home very much longer, for future humanity to live. We need to learn to love and respect each other and live and let live so that we can flourish throughout our world and grow as one people. The hate that is in so many hearts of so many people, is part of what destroys the earth. If you’ve never noticed, a plant will grow much better when it has positive vibes around it, than if there is negative or harshness around it. We feed off the earth and the earth feeds off of us in more ways than we are willing to acknowledge. Our home is dying and if people don’t start waking up soon, there will be no more humanity and no more earth.

… Is not love

Racism is not love.

Homophobia is not love.

Islamaphobia is not love.

Xenophobia is not love.
Bigotry is not love.

Hate is not love.

Understand that when you preach the actual love of people, you cannot preach these things. When you cross over and preach these things, your religion is no longer one of love.