Knowledge and Change

3:30AM Mind rolling and writing.

The majority of humanity in this day and age and the centuries before, seem to fear new knowledge and change, a great deal. Logically, we should understand that we would not use medical knowledge from say 2000 years ago, because we have learned new ways and better ways of doing things that have a higher survival rate for surgeries or different sicknesses that invade the human body. We have learned more medically to be able to use things in a better manner than what people were capable of doing or using before. So many things have progressed so significantly and so quickly in the age of knowledge, that has brought about technology and a great deal of new medical abilities for us to help us survive. Yet, the majority of humanity thrives on and depends on things that people came up with thousands of years before. They let their spiritual lives be determined by humanity when knowledge was at its very least and people assumed the earth was the center of the universe and that the sun revolved around it. We would not go back and use the ways of medicine which likely did not exist in that time or did not exist very much because of lack of knowledge and ability. We are lost easily in indoctrinated into delusional thinking of the past which has caused a massive amount of trauma in our DNA that has affected our minds as we have evolved over time.

What once was seen as moral, is no longer seen that way, i.e. slavery, racism, religions, and sacrifice of humans, to name some. We have learned that many things accepted in the past damage the human psyche. The mental and emotional damage has been great over the centuries, but we have also learned that the mind is a very powerful thing and that mental and emotional damage can also cause physical damage to the body because of the chemicals in our bodies the react in the fight or flight state of mind.

So many cultures and peoples depending on where you were born thrive on fairytales of the past, fairytales and stories that came about when written word was not yet wholly developed and capable of being translated from one language to the many languages that existed and some that have since been forgotten. From times when intellectuals and scholars were very few and the ability to learn to read and write was few and far between. To think that things back then were written so eloquently as words have developed over time is preposterous, bruh. They did not have the ability to write such detail oriented things back then as language was still evolving and being developed. Yet, so many people today move through life with major aspect of their lives so devout in these writings that have evolved over time. Many of which were stories that were told by word of mouth for decades or longer. We all know nothing gets skewed in that manner (sarcasm), if you have ever played telephone, this should be obvious.

Religion Poisoning the minds of people since humanity thought it up.

History is repeating itself in different ways. Religion has once again turned to poison as it has throughout history. It feeds on and warps the minds of its followers and unbeknownst to them has and is leaving a string of abuse and trauma that is turning into violence and hate. It is easy for a narcissistic leader to slither their way into the church doors and slowly manipulate the congregation. It’s happened over and over and over again. Christianity is not the only religion this happens to, it’s all of them.

I am aware not all Christians support or think this way. That doesn’t not change the facts at hand or the ones that have been carved in blood throughout history.

Humanity’s Cult Mindedness and Need For Healing

(This is a opinion piece from part of my research from more than a decade. It’s a collision of history, psychology, and religious research. We all have our journey, good luck on yours, wherever it may take you.)

“The best advice I can give from what I’ve learned over the last two decades of my life experience and research that is ongoing, is this Take wisdom from those who have it to offer, when it promotes being honest with yourself, working through trauma, and relatability. Utilize wisdom that brings positive growth and healing. Never step over into worship of the ones that share the wisdom.”

~ J. Lopez ~

Humanity has constantly throughout history sought answers to why we are here. So many seek a savior or saviors depending on the area, time, and monotheistic or polytheistic mindset. Gods of the past are many, Brahma, Zeus, Hades, Apollo, Aphrodite, Athena, Horus, Odin, Osiris, Poseidon, Jupiter, Isis, Set, Loki, Diana, Neptune, Rama, Krishna, Shiva, Quetzalcoatl, etc. The list goes on and on. “Encyclopedia of Gods offers concise information on more than 2,500 of these deities, from the most ancient gods of polytheistic societies – Hittite, Sumerian, Mesopotamian – to the most contemporary gods of the major monotheistic religions – Allah, God, Yahweh.” That’s not counting Denominations and sects within each religion under each god, that carry differing beliefs from the others.

Many people are too fear driven by the unknown and what comes after this life, that they need answers or healing in their mind, so they disassociate with reality to feel comfort outside themselves. They never reach within, which is what psychology has begun to uncover, that we are the source of healing in ourselves. They instead, lean into religion or they were already immersed in it from childhood. They can’t just accept that we just are and evolution of all things on this planet have led to our presence, experiences, and physical being.

Time will bring more answer to the unknown, if we do not destroy the earth first. Until, we learn to recognize that wisdom does not deserve worship, but a healthy utilization of wisdom to heal and grow as humans, people will continue to fall into cultish mentally and be lead into traumatic and abusive worship of human gods and invisible god alike.

We each have to make the decision to begin to reach within and start healing the generations of trauma and abuse caused by these disassociations. We inherit trauma from those we come from, since trauma lives in our DNA. (Reference book, The Body Keeps Score by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.)

Causes of gods by the many and humanities fear of unknown and death…From Leviathan

“It’s easier to read in circles in the same book than expand your thoughts and logic by learning the history of humanity. A curious questioning mind is a warrior against falsities and not easily subjected beneath the power of those who have no interest in your well-being, but only their consumption of control of feeble minds that bow at their whim.”
-Jax L.

The following texts are from Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes.

…Seeing there are no signs, nor fruit of religion, but in man only; there is no cause to doubt, but that the seed of religion, is also only in man; and consisteth in some peculiar quality, or at least in some eminent degree thereof, not to be found in any other living creatures.

And first, it is peculiar to the nature of man, to be inquisitive into the causes of the events they see, some more, some less; but all men so much, as to be curious in the search of the causes of their own good and evil fortune.

…This perpetual fear, always accompanying mankind in the ignorance of causes, as it were in the dark, must needs have for object something. And therefore when there is nothing to be seen, there is nothing to accuse, either of their good, or evil fortune, but some power, or agent invisible: in which sense perhaps it was, that some of the old poets said, that the gods were at first created by human fear: which spoken of the gods, that is to say, of the many gods of the Gentiles, is very true. But the acknowledging of one God, eternal, infinite, and omnipotent, may more easily be derived, from the desire men have to know the causes of natural bodies, and their several virtues, and operations; than from the fear of what was to befall them in time to come. For he that from any effect he seeth come to pass, should reason to the next and immediate cause thereof, and from thence to the cause of that cause, and plunge himself profoundly in the pursuit of causes; shall at last come to this, that there must be, as even the heathen philosophers confessed, one first mover; that is, a first, and an eternal cause of all things; which is that which men mean by the name of God: and all this without thought of their fortune; the solicitude whereof, both inclines to fear, and hinders them from the search of the causes of other things; and thereby gives occasion of feigning of as many gods, as there be men that feign them.

…And for that part of religion, which consisteth in opinions concerning the nature of powers invisible, there is almost nothing that has a name, that has not been esteemed amongst the Gentiles, in one place or another, a god, or devil; or by their poets feigned to be inanimated, inhabited, or possessed by some spirit or other.

The unformed matter of the world, was a god, by the name of Chaos.

The heaven, the ocean, the planets, the fire, the earth, the winds, were so many gods.

Men, women, a bird, a crocodile, a calf, a dog, a snake, an onion, a leek, were deified. Besides that, they filled almost all places, with spirits called demons: the plains, with Pan, and Panises, or Satyrs; the woods, with Fawns, and Nymphs; the sea, with Tritons, and other Nymphs; every river, and fountain, with a ghost of his name, and with Nymphs; every house with its Lares, or familiars; every man with his Genius; hell with ghosts, and spiritual officers, as Charon, Cerberus, and the Furies; and in the night time, all places with larva, lemures, ghosts of men deceased, and a whole kingdom of fairies and bugbears. They have also ascribed divinity, and built temples to mere accidents, and qualities; such as are time, night, day, peace, concord, love, contention, virtue, honour, health, rust, fever, and the like; which when they prayed for, or against, they prayed to, as if there were ghosts of those names hanging over their heads, and letting fall, or withholding that good, or evil, for, or against which they prayed. They invoked also their own wit, by the name of Muses; their own ignorance, by the name of Fortune; their own lusts by the name of Cupid; their own rage, by the name of Furies; their own privy members, by the name of Priapus; and attributed their pollutions, to Incubi, and Succuba: insomuch as there was nothing, which a poet could introduce as a person in his poem, which they did nor mate athe, god, or a devil.

The same authors of the religion of the Gentiles, observing he second ground for religion, which is men’s ignorance of causes; and thereby their aptness to attribute their fortune to causes, on which there was no dependence at all apparent, took occasion to obtrude on their ignorance, instead of second causes, a kind of second and ministerial gods; ascribing the cause of fecundity, to Venus; the cause of arts, to Apollo; of subtlety and craft, to Mercury; of tempests and storms, to AEolus; and of other effects, to other gods; insomuch as there was amongst the heathen almost as great variety of gods, as of business.

And to the worship, which naturally men conceived fit to be used towards their gods, namely, oblations, prayers, thanks, and the rest formerly named; the same legislators of the Gentiles have added their images, both in picture, and sculpture; that the more ignorant sort, that is to say, the most part or generality of the people, thinking the gods for whose representation they were made, were really included, and as it were housed within them, might so much the more stand in fear of them: and endowed them with lands, and houses, and officers, and revenues, set apart from all other human uses; that is, consecrated, and made holy to those their idols; as caverns, groves, woods, mountains, and whole islands; and have attributed to them, not only the shapes, some of men, some of beasts, some of monsters; but also the faculties, and passions of men and beasts: as sense, speech, sex, lust, generation, and this not only by mixing one with an other, to propagate the kind of gods; but also by mixing with men, and women, to beget mongrel gods, and but inmates of heaven, as Bacchus, Hercules, and others; besides anger, revenge, and other passions of living creatures, and the actions proceeding from them, as fraud, theft, adultery, sodomy, and any vice that may be taken for an effect of power, or a cause of pleasure; and all such vices, as amongst men are taken to be against law, rather than against honour.

Lastly, to the prognostics of time to come; which are naturally, but conjectures upon experience of time past; and supermaturally, divine revelation; the same authors of the religion of the Gentiles, partly upon pretended experience, partly upon pretended revelation, have added innumerable other superstitious ways of divination; and made men believe they should find their fortunes sometimes in the ambiguous or senseless answers of the priests at Delphi, Delos, Ammon, and other famous oracles; which answers, were made ambiguous by design, to own the event both ways; of absurd, by the intoxieating yapour of
the place, which is very frequent in sulphurous caverns: sometimes in the leaves of the Sybil; of whose prophecies, like those perhaps of Nostradamus…

…All which causes of the weakening of men’s faith, do manifestly appear in the examples following. First, we have the example of the children of Israel; who when Moses, that had approved his calling to them by miracles, and by the happy conduct of them out of Egypt, was absent but forty days, revolted from the worship of the true God, recommended to them by him; and setting up (Exod., Xxxii, 1, 2) a golden calf for their god, relapsed into the idolatry of the Egyptians; from whom they had been so lately delivered. And again, after Moses, Aaron, Joshua, and that generation which had seen the great works of God in Israel (udges in. 11) were dead; another generation arose, and served Baal. So that miracles failing, faith also failed. Again, when the sons of Samuel, (1 Sam. vili. 3) being constituted by their father judges in Bersabee, received bribes, and judged unjustly, the people of Israel refused any more to have God to be their king, in other manner than he was king of other people; and therefore cried out to Samuel, to choose them a king after the manner of the nations. So that justice failing, faith also failed, insomuch, as they deposed their God, from reigning over them.

-From Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes

Merica, our elders have failed us.

I can give a pass to the generation of our grandparents that are not very educated for the most part and do not know how to navigate information in the age of knowledge. To our parents generation and all those moving forward. Ther is literally no excuse to remain ignorant. It’s a choice. There is a constant flow of information that we can attain to learn and grow.

I have not had but maybe one conservative speak to me in actual facts and we agreed to disagree, but it wasn’t on something so massive as gun laws, a woman’s right to choose, LGBTQIA issues, or other life threatening and change issues. They literally have no factual information to back what they say, it’s all opinions based on their religious beliefs and life experiences, but they do not care to listen or try to understand others life experiences. Yet, they want to poke their noses in and control the lives of others or are just peachy with putting other peoples lives at risk so long as it does not affect them. I was on the wrong side of things until I was able to get access to information (poor folks didn’t have access to much back then), because I listened to my family. I I chose to do the research and gained the knowledge I did.

Crazy thing is, I am not the only one who flipped after they LEARNED about so many things. Knowledge is power. The corrupt politicians that all those willfully ignorant people vote for are going to continue to have control over things and hurt ALL OF US until these people die off or they educate themselves. It’s a lack of empathy and concern for others where they fail as humans. We are a species riddled with trauma and the healing will take decades or longer, but it’s already started. Inevitably, we will progress as humans and as a country because others have progressed far beyond us already. We are seriously lagging behind on the world stage in so many ways and our children are paying for it.

Children Learn What They Live

Everyone has their journey. This is part of mine. I share what I can, because it’s a way to connect, help others, and maybe someone will not feel so alone in their journey, if they can relate to mine. I struggle with relationships with some religious people depending on if they cross the moral line or not. I don’t care what you believe or what you worship, so long as you do not harm myself or others with those beliefs.

By the time I was 9 years old, I remember it very vividly sitting in the Pastors office, riddled with fear that I was going to hell. I got baptized, because I was so afraid of burning alive basically, because that’s what I was taught happens to people who aren’t Christian. I was condemned by many Christians (not all) growing up, because I was me. I fought like hell to fit into that box they so “lovingly” laid before me, but no matter what I did or how I tried to force myself to change, I was completely and utterly miserable and begging for death. I felt more shame and guilt for the majority of my life for things that are just natural to me as an individual or to being human. I was flogged with intolerance and lack of acceptance of my being until I found the answers I needed in my research journey that set me free. My research initially lasted a decade before I found freedom from all that suppressed and abused me mentally and emotionally as a child through to the age of 34. The day I left religion behind me it shattered me, I was not sure what to do. The entire foundation of what I was told and thought to be true was no more. Since, I have been healing and my journey in being human, though it’s been very rough the last few years, has also been so much lighter. I don’t carry the weight of thinking I am doomed with every thought and action I take, because of sin, I no longer accept the chains that were forced upon me as a child. I can just be a good human without worry of punishment for being born. I can and am actively working to heal from all the trauma and abuse I endured. I am a better person now in many ways, because I’m not continually allowing things to beat me down and have power over me. I am free in my being, I am free to be who I am, I am finding clam, peace, and security in myself. I know now, that I am a good person. I am now able to experience being human and connecting with other good humans, in a way I’ve never been able to before. I am learning to set boundaries for myself no matter if it suits others or not. I have been a people pleaser most of my life and I am learning to break that burden trauma has left on me, as well. I am grateful to be alive and actually want to be alive. I am grateful to be free.

✌🏼 Have the day you deserve.

Conversation with Christians: God created evil

Christian:

(Name), no offense but you don’t understand the Bible nor God’s intentions for all of mankind. No man is called to hate anyone for their beliefs. We don’t condone sin, bottom line. Neither does God. God is love. He is incapable of evil

And because He cannot work against Himself, He cannot do evil. “Far be it from God to do wickedness, and from the Almighty to commit iniquity,” (Job 34:10). “His work is perfect…a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is He,” (Deuteronomy 32:4). The Lord never wants bad things to happen. Evil is not part of the Lord’s will. “‘I know the thoughts I think towards you,’ says the Lord, ‘thoughts of peace and not of evil.’” (Jeremiah 29:11). When a young child dies, remember: “It is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.” (Matthew 18:14). God cannot cause evil because He is totally good.

Response:

Joseph, if he is incapable of evil, how do you think it came into existence in the first place, if he did create everything as you believe? He had to have created evil, otherwise it wouldn’t exist. It is said, “he” is omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient so he knew when, where, and how all evil things would happen yet still allowed them.

It is not up to you or any other Christian to condemn others with your belief, depending on which of the thousands of Christian denominations and the sects of that denomination you believe in. The “sins” (if one chooses to accept them onto themselves) are that persons choice alone to live by as they so choose. Was it not spoken by mouth for 30 to 90 yrs, then written, rewritten, translated and retranslated, then put through the councils and the Kings approvals, to create the Bible? In that Bible of which version you likely use being the King James, that Jesus said, “he who is without sin cast the first stone?”

You can choose to believe what you will, but others do not have to fall under your beliefs or your chosen sins. What I until a few years ago and most likely every Christian has no clue about is that the god persona in every aspect is a narcissistic persona. I spent 34 years of my life being abused by the church and my recovery has been long and still has a long way to go. The most beautiful words in that entire book that I ever read are, “and the truth shall set you free.”

God condemns murder yet officiates a supposed world wide flood (which has been proven false by historical documentation through the centuries), calls for genocide on tubes of people he created, turns Lots wife to stone, then the Passover, and revelation, to mention a few.

Humanity cannot move forward…

Humanity cannot move forward with small minded and uneducated people. The future is not in our grasp with these people holding us back our country is very visibly a crux for this very reason, right now. Small minds will never build beautiful features. They are stuck in cycles of religious cults and political cults which assist in controlling them and keeping them in their place “meek that do not seek for knowledge.” It’s those who learn and rise to the change within humanity and in our intelligence that will help us move forward as a whole. The more knowledge we gain about ourselves how we function how our minds work and how we can care and be better for one another is great and there is still so much we don’t know right now. We are just beginning in the age of true knowledge and communication. History of the past is skewed at best, until the 20th century made it possible to collect and save so much data and be able to access it in real time. The ways of old with our grandparents, our parents, and those that came before them did not see the world as clearly and abundantly as we do today. Like all other fairytales, the ones of the past beyond the 20th century, they will fade away, but not until those generations have also faded. Sucks, but it’s a hard truth. There are people in those generations to who took to the knowledge and grew from it, but many remain stagnant in the mucked up waters of small minds and will never grow and change as a human. One of my goals in life is never to be one of those people, again. I learned, I grew, and I continue to grow and gain knowledge, that I might be part of those that bring in the future for the humans that will come after us. If you aren’t growing, learning, and changing with the knowledge gained you are part of the problem and a great threat to humanity and the earth as a whole. Do better. Have the day you deserve.

I Am Free

What does it feel like inside a human restricted, constricted, oppressed, and suppressed? It feels like a pain that is never ending. Like you have to be strong, so you don’t just fall over dead from the daily beating of just being alive. Then you throw in the rest of the world and the struggles that it provides. How did I ever survive?

If normal people struggle with surviving and end their life, what do we have to be made of to be able to fight all that is within us and those things exterior to us that carry pain like a random whisper in the wind? Where is our mental break? What is it like to just be able to be, to exist, to breathe, and every moment isn’t lathered in pain? Many of us never get to experience that.

I remember breathing. I remember being in a crowded room and being alone all at the same time, I knew I didn’t fit in anywhere. I tried to play it off and be what, “I was supposed to be,” I think that just reopened the wounds and maybe even drove the pain deeper inside me. I remember trying to drown out the world. I used to lay on my floor in my bedroom and put the speakers from my stereo on each side of my head and just blast the music in my ears, so I couldn’t hear or feel anything else, it overpowered my emotions and the sounds of the pain, I loved music, always have. There were times, when the music just played right into my pain, the songs, they covered my wounds when they needed to breathe. There were days that my tears ran out and even my Mother never saw one of them gliding down my cheek. I hide so much. I hide myself, my laughter, my being, my personality, my love…my love. My love was shifted and contorted into something else, I tried to let it out, but how do you share love when all you have recycling within you is constant pain. Constant pain that felt like pressure in your head, worse than a migraine and like a light with a migraine, the world just made it worse. Even the pressure in my chest that never subsided, they said, it was anxiety, but that wasn’t true, it was a broken heart never able to heal. So much pain, I just remember so much pain and all my memories are scattered from the drugs I used, to try and numb it or end it, because I couldn’t pull the trigger. Slow death it would have been, but something had to stop the pain, anything.

I sit here in wonder, how the fuck did I survive this? What the hell am I made of?  No god ever came to rescue me, no god ever eased my pain, if anything this god I was taught about and these people that associated with him made it worse, far worse than it was in the beginning. I still tried, I tried to fit into their box, I tried to believe and I did, with all that I was, even though it was like a constant knife digging deeper into my soul. They said, it was love and they said, I was broken and this god could repair all that was wrong with me, just believe, and I did, I believed with everything, with all of me. That god never showed up. I prayed for death, and that god never showed up.  I thought, I was born in pain, I’ll die in pain, and it’s up to me to determine how long I stick it out. How much strength does one person have? When does that strength just dissipate, how much longer do I have?

Then two years ago, I let go. I let go of religion and my attempt to please those around me. I let it all go. I dug so deep for information to prove all that I was taught about religion was true, I dug for years. Then one day I realized like Santa this is not real, it’s a fairy tale to ease the minds of the weak and torture the minds of the strong. It’s a device that allows people to be closed into a box that gets smaller and smaller the older you get. It suffocates what the human being could be, it restricts the beauty and resilience of a life that could be well lived in so many ways. Oh, but to be free! There are no words to express the transition of where I was, who I was, and all the pain I went through, to finally being free. There are no words deep enough or descriptive enough to even come close to the way I feel today verses how I felt the majority of my life. I can only simply say, I am free. I know what it’s like to love myself, now. I can smile without faking it, now and even my eyes smile too. I am whole and beautiful. After 35 years of life, of endless pain, of dying, of dread, of fear, of self hate, of religious hate, religious manipulation, of suppression, I AM FREE.

 

Kindness

The problem with some peoples kindness is that it is only surface level. Outside of being nice to your face, they don’t really care if laws hurt you, politicians fight to take your rights, or cause life to be harder for you, as long as they are not affected by these things. Outside of being nice to your face, they don’t care if their racism or small mindedness hurts you. Outside of being nice to your face, they don’t care if their religion or beliefs hurt you or if them forcing those things on you hurts you.

Anyone can believe what they want. It’s when those beliefs are forced on others or cause others harm, where a line is drawn between kindness and the reality of their beliefs turning to their lack of care and concern on what happens to other people.

How is kindness defined, when it’s only at face value, but never on a deeper level? I wish humanity would just live and love, but people have to make things harder for others, people they don’t even know, because that’s what they believe. Religion and beliefs sway laws and political decisions and some people don’t live by those beliefs, so in turn they can be harmful or give them more hardships in life (like the policies in place with mortgage rates being higher for black and Latin folks than white folks), this came from a belief that the white man was more deserving of things than POC.

Where do we draw the line? How can we define kindness when it’s more like a mask people wear and not a reality? What is kindness exactly, to people who think like this? How do they justify their two faced value of kindness?